Can you help me think of a smart-aleck thing to say to a cop in this situation?

Any incident of alcohol possession/transportation by a minor is more serious than that done by an old fart like me. Is there really alcohol in the vehicle or not? Witty and comical do not work with the police, believe me. Single syllable, yes/no replies with no volunteered information works best. Be polite but curt. Check the link.